


Only One Way Out

by janetcarter



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Angst, Failed Suicide Attempt, Gen, Suicide Attempt, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23817331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/pseuds/janetcarter
Summary: Talia wasn't dead, but she might as well be.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Only One Way Out

**Author's Note:**

> For the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Suicide Attempt." 
> 
> Title is a reference to what Susan dreamed her mother saying in "Eyes" while she was being injected with sleepers.

The one thing Talia knew for certain, in the haze and unreality of her withering consciousness, was that she would have to be her own savior. 

There wasn’t anything she could do to stop Control. No one was coming to rescue her. She doubted she  _ could  _ even be rescued. 

This was the only way; better for the both of them. Better for the world.

Control’s slumber heavily blanketed their body. If Talia hadn’t learned the patterns of REM, she would still be pinned beneath the weight. Even with her advantage, Control had done all of her work while Talia had been asleep too. She knows all the little tricks, all the tells. This would be her only chance. 

It took every scrap of energy she had left to pull herself out of the muddy darkness. Connecting herself to legs and arms was like putting on stiff clothes. It wasn’t truly her body anymore; it was a suit, with bleach stains and and tears and hemlines foreign to what she remembered. 

The texture of it--the anxiety spiking in her chest, the heavy breathing, and the shakiness of her limbs-- had also become unfamiliar. They were unwelcome at such a pivotal moment, but she’d be lying if she said she wanted them to vanish. In a way they were an outlet for the fear flooding her system, but it had been too long since she had had to cope with the dizziness and nausea. She wouldn't be able to keep this up for long.

As quietly as she could, her trembling hands forced open the sliding glass door to the balcony. The view from the 19th floor blurred as she reclaimed her vision. 

Her hands curled around the cool balcony railing. She deserved one final moment before she did it, didn't she? One final moment with her body as her own, taking in everything she’d been deprived of for an eternity alone. 

Her vision cleared once more, letting her properly view the European city-line. Beneath the moonlight shone the old architecture of the buildings just across the cobblestone street. Plants breathed life into every windowsill and balcony except her own. They must’ve craved the sunlight beneath the dark sky. 

It was hard to believe people of the past once lived in those same homes. That was the thing about space travel: everything was so new. Shiny. Colonies and space stations didn’t leave much opportunity for ghosts to walk alongside the uninvited. 

Too bad she hadn’t spent more time on earth when she’d had the chance. 

Despite whatever histories the architecture held, the buildings themselves now housed horrors. If she had to sit idly by during one more interrogation or deep scans against rogues, she didn’t know what she was going to do. 

The empty street below glistened from recent rain. She wondered if it had been a thunderstorm or a light drizzle. She supposed she’d never know.

She swallowed one last breath, propped herself up on the railing, and fell.

She fell backward, back into her cell as Control did what she did best. That one little moment of luxury, feeling the wind and breathing fresh air... It was what killed her, but not in the way she'd sought out.

A confident laugh echoed throughout the dark chamber, like she had been waiting for this. The force unsheathed Talia’s nerves from their sleeves. She felt like her own skin had been torn off, pain ringing out in blood she’d never see.

_ Cute _ , hissed Control,  _ that you thought it would be that simple. _

The chains around Talia weighed more than she did. If Jason's gift weren't keeping her alive she was sure she would wither away as the cells of this vessel died, letting her vanish in their rebirths. 

Control had been right that day: Talia died long ago. 

  
  



End file.
